nd~ a spring breeze of autumn leaves

KPP talk

Today i went for KPP class at IMKEDA at Kajang. Before that, I waited for quite a long time until 8 something, only Uncle Chin came to my house. When I got into the car, I saw there was two other guys in it and uncle. One chinese guy and another is an Indian guy. We went to the destination around 8.44am. And Uncle Chin said he's going to send another girl in, just around Kajang area. Then we also had to fill in the forms, viewed around the whole place, then we lined up to apply SPP card, had our fingerprints. Up to this stage, Uncle Chin said we can proceed to the class. The class started approximately 10.45am. The first speaker was Mr. Mohd Al Zhahir, then the second speaker was Mr. Hamid. Both of them were experienced examiner and tutor, but I think they need to buck up in giving talks. XP. They tried to give a lot of examples when explaining some topics of the textbook. LOL. The word ' textbook ' sounded like school SPBT books. Haha. So, today I also got to know a guy, that chinese guy, Hui Li Xiong. Haha. Still know people's name. I knew his D.O.B too...accidentally. 28 Nov. He's a sagi...that's bad..haha. He studied in 'du zhong', so he said he don't know a lot about BM. Hmm. He'd got a brother and a younger sister. Haha. Maybe he's sagi, sagi n sagi has ' mo qi ' that he told a lot of things about himself to me. But I truely know that the possibility with him is low...and possibly zero. So, what I need to do now is just concentrate on my driving notes..the theories that I need to bury my head on them. Gambate in Everything you are heading to, Natalie ! Jia You !

Merry Christmas

I'm lovin' Christmas. It's a heart-warming occasion that everyone should enjoy themselves int his pleasant event. Why should we carry a sad face all day long, why not tear off the sad faces, have a bright smile on our faces to enjoy Christmas Day? I'm feelin' merry, happy and jolly. This is the Christmas that I'm not missing any guys, not thinking of them like every second, I'm enjoying myself, together with my family on the Christmas trip to Colmar Tropicale, Bukit Tinggi in Pahang. I still remembered a friend of mine said there's a place of boredom. I went there about 4 to 5 times. I can tell where to visit, what's the attraction of the places..LOL. Then I'm quite qualified to be a tour guide there..LOL. I'm still single by this Christmas, no one to hold hands, to one to get hugs from, no Christmas presents, but WHO CARES? lol..

Sad Atmosphere Surrounds Me

Lately, I like one of Jay's old songs--Ge Qian. I don't really know what it means, but maybe I like it's rhythm a lot. The whole song kept playing in my mind, repeat and repeat. The song started with a sad mood, I'm brought into that sad atmosphere too. Maybe it's quite normal for me, this period of forgeting someone you like very much before. Now, everything ended like a 2-hour sad movie. After we had a good time of sobbing, out of the cinema, we are back into our life, the reality. I told myself to cry out, but I couldn't. There's not much of things between us to worth a sob or a cry. What that is left in my mind are just the sweet old memories, that I missed them so much. We used to share a lot of stuff when we onlined at the same time. Now, it's really impossible. I could feel the distance, the strongly-built fortress in his heart, but sadly..I'm just a weak, lame soldier, that tried so hard to cross over that obstacle, but I tried in vain. Eventhough I have got bombs, there's no use at all. That cold feelings from his message, I could feel that he had let go of me. It's that I'm still thick in the head, still hoping that we can be together. We can be friends, only. Because of the distance physically and the distance between us are going far as time went by. We are friends, Paul Dhillon Dovorsky.

A few pieces of memories

I really wish to upload his pics here..waiting for his reply by mail. There just left some broken pieces of memories. I like to view the clouds after I contemplated on his photo. He said he took it just for me, it's sweet. The photo is that he's riding a bike and the background is the puffy sunset clouds. I like the whole scenery, like his smile too. He'd reached a record that no one can beat him until now. By the day we met, right from ICQ, we had chatted for 3 hours non-stop. I thought we'll just paused by the question about ''How are you?'' and '' I'm fine.'' It's far more than that. Since the day, we'd much chats, funny conversations. We'd also come across to a stage of coincidence of what we said. Both of us laughed on it. There's much more sweet memories with him, nut they're just staying as memories.

Driving ?

I'm going to learn driving very soon. Actually I'm phobia about driving, like controlling a moving machine on the busy road. Losing confidence about stepping the paddles, gripping the steering and the controllers...P1, P2, D? Argh....I scared that I'm a nervous driver on the road. By the way, we have to learn when we are growing. Be positive.

Fragile...

Before and after exams, I'm still thinking about the same matter : whether to let the guy go and forget him. I'd tried my best to think about this matter, finally I've got an answer. We're just friends, but more than friends, I really can feel that he has the same feel upon me. Maybe I think too much, he just seek me as a friend, not more than that. I asked my friend how to define like and love. Like means that you just adore him, a feel upon him. Love is a deep attraction upon that person, and is willing to sacrifice even he's in danger, i'll not think of anything, rush over him to save his life. I paused. I'm not ready to sacrifice anything for him, I just like him. So, it's better for me to forget him, his smiles, his photos, our chats, his black jacket, his favourite football team, his conversations about we going to Spain together, his mandrin writing as an 'ang mo', his family background, and so much more of our memories. I really want to let him know that every conversations we made, I'd tried my very best to remember all of them, I really did. But up to this stage, what I need to do is to let him go, let him out of my mind, my life. I'd deleted his hp no. out of my phone, and he's not replying my message also, that's the end of our story. I do not expect that's the end, but what can I do ? Humans are like players in a match, the one who is really monitoring is the God. I'm sad about this relationship with him, not more than 100 days, so fragile. I've broke this all. :(

Down

Lately, I felt a sense of sorrow. I think I know the reasons for it. There's just a reason. About Paul. I thought that we can still be attached despite of distance matter. It's really suffering when you can reach the highest point to happy-- ecstacy. Then, a few seconds later, you fell off to the ground. I hit the ground before, but I'm still not awake. I hate myself being like this. I'd decided to quit everything linked to bf matters. It'll come to me some day, I believe.

Studies Ahead

Lately, I had been very addicted to ICQ. I told myself to quit, but still I surrender to that tempting chatting website. I really hope that I spend my time wisely. Not to mess around with precious hours again. Studies..in my mind is the path to get closer to my dream, a golden ticket for higher educations. I do not look forward to be a doctor, nurse, or lawyer or other professionals. Fashion designer is my ultimate career. I have a great passion for art, designing, it will be a total waste if I quit by now. Although science stream has nothing to link with my future career, at least I do not waste my time by learning subjects that I do not like at all. I do like Biology and Chemistry when I was in Form 4 until now. So, I joined the stream and strived hard for my exams. I hope that I could win this SPM battle by my own effort, no matter what, because I had chosed this path. Myself. By using the remaining days, gambate and go for the very best result for SPM !

Mr. P

I met a guy for one month. We knew each other for a month and a day until today, 12 October 2009. That's means we knew each other by 11 September 2009. I really do not expect I can find my Mr. Right so fast. Although it's the right guy, he's staying in Singapore. Our problem is actually the distance, 5km as he said yesterday( we chatted yesterday). :) I felt really lucky to find a guy that likes me and at the same time, he likes me too. It's really hard. But both of us could manage to know each other. Is this what we call destiny? Hope that he's my destiny too. :P. We chat a lot of stuff by yesterday, not just the flirty chats. I feel that he's not the guy who play a fool with me, I really do hope that he's not. I really hope to know more about him, his family background, his blood type, if possible...everything about him. LOL. I know he's supporting Liverpool(red team), like sushi(as i do) and Christmas(as i do). We do share a lot of similarities (except we are not the same gender). He said this will never be the same. haha. Once again, I really do hope he's not a liar about every single thing he told me. At last, his name is Paul Dhillon.

宠

最近，也许是假期的关系，我花了蛮多钱的，都是花在自己身上，宠一宠自己。感觉很好啊!我以前会想把钱花在喜欢的人身上。可是，现在领悟了许多人生道理，我们是应该爱自己的，在适当的时候宠爱自己是一大乐事。买了mask，T-恤，手袋。差不多每一样东西都是宠爱自己的。我觉得这样是对自己好的。其实，我们为什么要把钱看得太重？花了钱，再赚回来。。。每一位，加油吧！

终于。。。

我很开心。我终于可以把心中的包袱，狠狠地将他投入深海当中。我还记得我身边的朋友，一个个劝我别傻了。那个不喜欢你的他，再多的付出也是白费心机的。忘了他吧！差不多我认识的人都说同一句话。可是我就是太傻了，我还以为只要我一直等下去就会有结果。怎么知道，原来是我太固执了，为他这样的执着是愚蠢的行为。我已经决定了--他以成为过去了。他只不过是区区的一棵树。我又为何为了一棵树而放弃了整片森林呢？

Viva dress

I like the feel of putting colours in viva dress. It's fun colours that I can say. Pink, orange, yellow and a tinge of white among the colours. Bright colours from the top to the bottom. Highly potential to cherish someone's day when she put it on, and send their dark clouds or gloomy feelings away.Viva dress appears in a messy way, because I'm not intended to draw something like a dress or what, I'm sketching some wavy curly hairs of a girl. Boosh...I'd designed this. Hopefully I'll be fashionable as I really try very hard to make a sense of fashion in my designs. I always do, honestly. When you really view this dress for a longer monent, you might find that the colours are quite retro. Retro is the time that bright colours send to the big screen. Bright colours lined up to be shown under the sun, no more hiding, the world is all waiting to have a glance of them all. Just then, bright colours will not be receiving blames that accusing them for their garishness, their bright personalities...

Triangule aug09

Triangule
A simple concept that I found it just from the shape of triangle. You can say that it looks like contour of hills. I really expect the whole gown to be green as I'm deeply in love with green. The sketch is quite familiar to other gowns designed by well-known international fashion designers.
However, I still keep to myself that what pass over my mind, I just have to sketch it down. I won't forgive myself if I lost any of them because I'm lazy to sketch the idea down. Triangule shows a classy feel for girls who are like me---like the idea of being glamourous( I mean the outfit...XD).
It's simply the right apparel that one should snatch it out from a boutique and show off in ballroom...LOL

Zoe

Zoe
My new ND model. Newly hired. She has fair complexion as other Asian girls. Big round eyes--the major attraction of her features.
Roseate glossy lips. A tinge of pinkish foundation made her face aglow perfectly.
Hazel wavy hair sent a heartthrob in every single guy. Overall, she is in for ND models due to her fresh look and good personality.

~Antibodied~

During these 3 weeks, i learnt a lot. from sickness. Although I'm antibodied and also injected with sort of vaccine, I'm still clear that who care about me. My parents, my kaima, my siblings, my friends. All of them make me nearly cried, but i really cried once. I really can't hide my feelings. I believe when you are in that desperate situation, that memorable hard moments, you would find this crying method the best way to express everything deep beneath your heart. Maybe I'm that sentimental, but I think i have both sides, when i'm out there, i can be very strong tough of person, but back home, i can't hide myself under blanket, crying. I really admit that i have double personalities. People saw me as a funny, enjoyable, easy-going person by the outside, but by the same time, i have down moments, just my close friends know that i think, or even they don't even know. After these period of sufferrings, I learnt how to be grateful to God, everything that is go smoothly, nice happenings. My aunt kept on telling me that if i do not recover from this terrible sore throat, it may worsen and fatal. I suddenly realise that life doesn't control by ourselves, our hands. It is everything depends on God. Taking pills, drinking a lot of water, taking rest are like my new homeworks. By tomorrow, everything will be settled. I'm immuned from bacteria, invading harmful microorganisms. Because I'm ANTIBODIED....

Cried Again

I really can't bear the feel of loneliness. There's always a voice that cried out:'' Hey, why not go out and find one guy to be in love?'' Just like other people in the street, smiley faces couples, went on their dates, being happy the whole day through. It's a happy story. But, when I think back, Should I need a guy so desperately? Just to fall in love? Walking together, holding hands, catching for the latest movies? All that it's a very far dream, so far that it's a mission impossible to reach it. Life's not always a bed of roses. I'm very clear of that. Love can't be forced. It comes automatically, without a trace, no smell, no shape, no colour. But there's one key point: Love cut down the distance between two strangers' heart, from different places. I believe there's a guy for me out there, on this Earth, fated, as being scheduled by God. I'll just have to do nothing and look forward for every planned events. Smile :D

I miss you

It had been the first time i received a message from a guy, saying : '' I miss you.'' I don't know whether he's saying deep bottom from his heart or just trying to cheat me, or else. If it's true that he wanna cheat my feelings, but at least he had got the inisiative to say it. Lately, i also received calls from him. Twice by yesterday, and once by last week, Saturday. I really feel excited. I feel that I'm not that lonely actually, there's a guy beside me, accompanying me along the path of my life. Though maybe it's just a short path, a short time being that he appeared in my life, I felt so grateful. Thank God for everything that It had set for me. My friends kept on advising me to be protective from that guy, don't believe 100% in him. That's why I kept observing. I used to be very cautious nowadays, not that I had got cheated before, but be rational on every minor things you are heading to. No one will expect what will happen by next second. Who knows? God knows. I will keep on observing him, not allowing him to cheat me, not to hurt me! I had got hurt twice, and it's hard to recover from that pain. I knew everyone experience that except those couples that married to each other by first love. Who's that lucky one? I'm sure out of that list. Okay, take in fresh air, suck in a great deal of air, STAND UP and there's million miles ahead of you! Walk On!

认真

我觉得我们所做的任何事都应该要抱着认真，诚恳的态度。为什么？认真做的事往往都不会出多大的差错，除非你对某项事情一知半解，又不学会不耻下问,才让自己走入没有出口的小巷。认真是我最近领悟到的另一种道理，人生的哲学之一。我要以认真的态度来把学业搞好，更上一层楼！我还要积极的面对人生。学业对我来说是很重要的。我们这一代不是时常听到前辈说：‘‘你们这一代可是幸福多了，回到家，就可以专心于学业。我们(前辈)这一代放学回家，赶快把功课完成，就要立刻帮忙父母亲打理生意，做家务。等到一切办妥后，都已经是深夜了！哪像你们可以这么的享受,每天准时上网，在手机传简讯之类悠闲的活动。。。。’’。我相信这些对白没有百分百相似，也有蛮高的巴仙率来引起你的共鸣吧！所以，我们一定要在学业上加把劲，让我们在未来飞黄腾达，来报答两老的恩惠。我们要学会感恩。

写字

写字
我不晓得从何时开始，我爱上了写字。我只知道，我要感谢我的小学一年级至三年级的班主任兼华文老师，郑玉华老师。印象中，一年级的我写的字都是马马虎虎，并没有什么特点。自从老师在背后的提拔，我对写字产生了兴趣，决定把原有的普通字体，脱胎换骨,打造漂漂亮亮且标准的字体。我并没有进行什么地狱式训练,我只敢说是努力的改变写法，研究笔顺，慢地爱上写字。
字体本来是一种表达自我的工具，而我把它以艺术的方面来看，它是中华文化的精髓。经过世世代代的字体改良，现在的简体字已经很难被 ‘‘缩’’ 了。不然，华文字体又迈入外星人的字体了！
简体字的改革是现代人的思想，是为现代人写字能快一些吗？只有创造简体字的人才晓得了！
字体，华文字体本来就是一门艺术。从以前甲骨文，到皇朝改良的柳体字，宋体字,颜字体，到现在的简体字。考古学家对甲骨文的浓厚兴趣，为了要了解它的诞生经过，生活。字体对古人来说到底是画还是字？中华文化是画亦是字，真是了不起！
所谓‘‘工欲善其事，必先利其器’’。对喜爱写字的人来说，文房四宝岂能少呢？文房四宝有毛笔，墨，纸(九宫格)和磨墨的用具。
现在市面上已经有包装的墨汁，根本用不上磨墨的用具。现代人只需一开墨汁的瓶盖，倒入一个小几上，便可以使用，开始提字。
写字，写毛笔字都必须一个字，静。只有心里静静地，才能写得好字。除了静，还要有耐力，慢慢地把字体完成。何为好字？我又不是书法家，我只可以说字体整洁，公整，就行了！
身为一位华裔子弟，而且也认识华文字，我感到自豪！我为中华文化而感到自豪。从古至今，我们华族像是被看扁，瞧不起的族群，特别是外国人。可是现在的我们，是不一样的族群，不必被任何人看扁，我们和外国人平起平坐，不分你我，外国先进，我们中华民族也不落人后！
华人万岁！

Forget & Stand Up

In this world, we meet a lot of unpleasant things. What we need to do is just set our mind to forget all those depressing things. What for that we are living on this Earth? We like nice stuff, people. After going through all saddie, STAND UP and face TOMORROW!!!

Stubborn

I try to ask myself am i too stubborn anyway? to keep on thinking of perfect guy... there's no perfect guy in this world..whole Earth. so what am i thinking? i try to keep myself on the study track, but easily distracted by other alluring objects, guys and stuff. I think i just pull myself out of that trap. Stand up girl!!!!!!!!! There's other meaningful things for you to accomplish, and think about your family, friends, your life. You are the only one who lead your own life. Who else?

i'm totally +VE

I think being positive by everyday is really important. smiling always is the key i think.
Saying ''chilling cold'' jokes, sharing them with your gang of friends. Laugh of loud. That's what life should be right?Everyone is not borned to be humourous. The main point is loose yourself out, don't pressure yourself too much, RELAX & CHILL OUT!!! saying cold jokes need not much of training or practices, twisting out meanings of some words..that's simple, isn't it? Try it then and be POSITIVE +VE

Release is better than anything

Release may be like a short pain, but soon i'll revive from it and be whole new ME!
I don't really mind being temporary sad, depressed, down, because i'm sure that i'll get out of
that person...his shadow. I forgot since when i knew i could stand by myself, pain is tolerable.
I'm confident that i'll be me after all. Meeting him by every sunday is like dragging myself into that
sweet yet painful dream again. Now, i'd nothing in contact about him. Deleted his hp. no, msn, facebook, everything. And his face will soon fade from my heart. Good. Release is the best way to forget him. I believe.

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