nd~ a spring breeze of autumn leaves

KPP talk

Today i went for KPP class at IMKEDA at Kajang. Before that, I waited for quite a long time until 8 something, only Uncle Chin came to my house. When I got into the car, I saw there was two other guys in it and uncle. One chinese guy and another is an Indian guy. We went to the destination around 8.44am. And Uncle Chin said he's going to send another girl in, just around Kajang area. Then we also had to fill in the forms, viewed around the whole place, then we lined up to apply SPP card, had our fingerprints. Up to this stage, Uncle Chin said we can proceed to the class. The class started approximately 10.45am. The first speaker was Mr. Mohd Al Zhahir, then the second speaker was Mr. Hamid. Both of them were experienced examiner and tutor, but I think they need to buck up in giving talks. XP. They tried to give a lot of examples when explaining some topics of the textbook. LOL. The word ' textbook ' sounded like school SPBT books. Haha. So, today I also got to know a guy, that chinese guy, Hui Li Xiong. Haha. Still know people's name. I knew his D.O.B too...accidentally. 28 Nov. He's a sagi...that's bad..haha. He studied in 'du zhong', so he said he don't know a lot about BM. Hmm. He'd got a brother and a younger sister. Haha. Maybe he's sagi, sagi n sagi has ' mo qi ' that he told a lot of things about himself to me. But I truely know that the possibility with him is low...and possibly zero. So, what I need to do now is just concentrate on my driving notes..the theories that I need to bury my head on them. Gambate in Everything you are heading to, Natalie ! Jia You !

Merry Christmas

I'm lovin' Christmas. It's a heart-warming occasion that everyone should enjoy themselves int his pleasant event. Why should we carry a sad face all day long, why not tear off the sad faces, have a bright smile on our faces to enjoy Christmas Day? I'm feelin' merry, happy and jolly. This is the Christmas that I'm not missing any guys, not thinking of them like every second, I'm enjoying myself, together with my family on the Christmas trip to Colmar Tropicale, Bukit Tinggi in Pahang. I still remembered a friend of mine said there's a place of boredom. I went there about 4 to 5 times. I can tell where to visit, what's the attraction of the places..LOL. Then I'm quite qualified to be a tour guide there..LOL. I'm still single by this Christmas, no one to hold hands, to one to get hugs from, no Christmas presents, but WHO CARES? lol..

Sad Atmosphere Surrounds Me

Lately, I like one of Jay's old songs--Ge Qian. I don't really know what it means, but maybe I like it's rhythm a lot. The whole song kept playing in my mind, repeat and repeat. The song started with a sad mood, I'm brought into that sad atmosphere too. Maybe it's quite normal for me, this period of forgeting someone you like very much before. Now, everything ended like a 2-hour sad movie. After we had a good time of sobbing, out of the cinema, we are back into our life, the reality. I told myself to cry out, but I couldn't. There's not much of things between us to worth a sob or a cry. What that is left in my mind are just the sweet old memories, that I missed them so much. We used to share a lot of stuff when we onlined at the same time. Now, it's really impossible. I could feel the distance, the strongly-built fortress in his heart, but sadly..I'm just a weak, lame soldier, that tried so hard to cross over that obstacle, but I tried in vain. Eventhough I have got bombs, there's no use at all. That cold feelings from his message, I could feel that he had let go of me. It's that I'm still thick in the head, still hoping that we can be together. We can be friends, only. Because of the distance physically and the distance between us are going far as time went by. We are friends, Paul Dhillon Dovorsky.

A few pieces of memories

I really wish to upload his pics here..waiting for his reply by mail. There just left some broken pieces of memories. I like to view the clouds after I contemplated on his photo. He said he took it just for me, it's sweet. The photo is that he's riding a bike and the background is the puffy sunset clouds. I like the whole scenery, like his smile too. He'd reached a record that no one can beat him until now. By the day we met, right from ICQ, we had chatted for 3 hours non-stop. I thought we'll just paused by the question about ''How are you?'' and '' I'm fine.'' It's far more than that. Since the day, we'd much chats, funny conversations. We'd also come across to a stage of coincidence of what we said. Both of us laughed on it. There's much more sweet memories with him, nut they're just staying as memories.

Driving ?

I'm going to learn driving very soon. Actually I'm phobia about driving, like controlling a moving machine on the busy road. Losing confidence about stepping the paddles, gripping the steering and the controllers...P1, P2, D? Argh....I scared that I'm a nervous driver on the road. By the way, we have to learn when we are growing. Be positive.

Fragile...

Before and after exams, I'm still thinking about the same matter : whether to let the guy go and forget him. I'd tried my best to think about this matter, finally I've got an answer. We're just friends, but more than friends, I really can feel that he has the same feel upon me. Maybe I think too much, he just seek me as a friend, not more than that. I asked my friend how to define like and love. Like means that you just adore him, a feel upon him. Love is a deep attraction upon that person, and is willing to sacrifice even he's in danger, i'll not think of anything, rush over him to save his life. I paused. I'm not ready to sacrifice anything for him, I just like him. So, it's better for me to forget him, his smiles, his photos, our chats, his black jacket, his favourite football team, his conversations about we going to Spain together, his mandrin writing as an 'ang mo', his family background, and so much more of our memories. I really want to let him know that every conversations we made, I'd tried my very best to remember all of them, I really did. But up to this stage, what I need to do is to let him go, let him out of my mind, my life. I'd deleted his hp no. out of my phone, and he's not replying my message also, that's the end of our story. I do not expect that's the end, but what can I do ? Humans are like players in a match, the one who is really monitoring is the God. I'm sad about this relationship with him, not more than 100 days, so fragile. I've broke this all. :(