Driving ?

I'm going to learn driving very soon. Actually I'm phobia about driving, like controlling a moving machine on the busy road. Losing confidence about stepping the paddles, gripping the steering and the controllers...P1, P2, D? Argh....I scared that I'm a nervous driver on the road. By the way, we have to learn when we are growing. Be positive.

Fragile...

Before and after exams, I'm still thinking about the same matter : whether to let the guy go and forget him. I'd tried my best to think about this matter, finally I've got an answer. We're just friends, but more than friends, I really can feel that he has the same feel upon me. Maybe I think too much, he just seek me as a friend, not more than that. I asked my friend how to define like and love. Like means that you just adore him, a feel upon him. Love is a deep attraction upon that person, and is willing to sacrifice even he's in danger, i'll not think of anything, rush over him to save his life. I paused. I'm not ready to sacrifice anything for him, I just like him. So, it's better for me to forget him, his smiles, his photos, our chats, his black jacket, his favourite football team, his conversations about we going to Spain together, his mandrin writing as an 'ang mo', his family background, and so much more of our memories. I really want to let him know that every conversations we made, I'd tried my very best to remember all of them, I really did. But up to this stage, what I need to do is to let him go, let him out of my mind, my life. I'd deleted his hp no. out of my phone, and he's not replying my message also, that's the end of our story. I do not expect that's the end, but what can I do ? Humans are like players in a match, the one who is really monitoring is the God. I'm sad about this relationship with him, not more than 100 days, so fragile. I've broke this all. :(

Down

Lately, I felt a sense of sorrow. I think I know the reasons for it. There's just a reason. About Paul. I thought that we can still be attached despite of distance matter. It's really suffering when you can reach the highest point to happy-- ecstacy. Then, a few seconds later, you fell off to the ground. I hit the ground before, but I'm still not awake. I hate myself being like this. I'd decided to quit everything linked to bf matters. It'll come to me some day, I believe.

Studies Ahead

Lately, I had been very addicted to ICQ. I told myself to quit, but still I surrender to that tempting chatting website. I really hope that I spend my time wisely. Not to mess around with precious hours again. Studies..in my mind is the path to get closer to my dream, a golden ticket for higher educations. I do not look forward to be a doctor, nurse, or lawyer or other professionals. Fashion designer is my ultimate career. I have a great passion for art, designing, it will be a total waste if I quit by now. Although science stream has nothing to link with my future career, at least I do not waste my time by learning subjects that I do not like at all. I do like Biology and Chemistry when I was in Form 4 until now. So, I joined the stream and strived hard for my exams. I hope that I could win this SPM battle by my own effort, no matter what, because I had chosed this path. Myself. By using the remaining days, gambate and go for the very best result for SPM !

Mr. P

I met a guy for one month. We knew each other for a month and a day until today, 12 October 2009. That's means we knew each other by 11 September 2009. I really do not expect I can find my Mr. Right so fast. Although it's the right guy, he's staying in Singapore. Our problem is actually the distance, 5km as he said yesterday( we chatted yesterday). :) I felt really lucky to find a guy that likes me and at the same time, he likes me too. It's really hard. But both of us could manage to know each other. Is this what we call destiny? Hope that he's my destiny too. :P. We chat a lot of stuff by yesterday, not just the flirty chats. I feel that he's not the guy who play a fool with me, I really do hope that he's not. I really hope to know more about him, his family background, his blood type, if possible...everything about him. LOL. I know he's supporting Liverpool(red team), like sushi(as i do) and Christmas(as i do). We do share a lot of similarities (except we are not the same gender). He said this will never be the same. haha. Once again, I really do hope he's not a liar about every single thing he told me. At last, his name is Paul Dhillon.

宠

最近，也许是假期的关系，我花了蛮多钱的，都是花在自己身上，宠一宠自己。感觉很好啊!我以前会想把钱花在喜欢的人身上。可是，现在领悟了许多人生道理，我们是应该爱自己的，在适当的时候宠爱自己是一大乐事。买了mask，T-恤，手袋。差不多每一样东西都是宠爱自己的。我觉得这样是对自己好的。其实，我们为什么要把钱看得太重？花了钱，再赚回来。。。每一位，加油吧！

终于。。。

我很开心。我终于可以把心中的包袱，狠狠地将他投入深海当中。我还记得我身边的朋友，一个个劝我别傻了。那个不喜欢你的他，再多的付出也是白费心机的。忘了他吧！差不多我认识的人都说同一句话。可是我就是太傻了，我还以为只要我一直等下去就会有结果。怎么知道，原来是我太固执了，为他这样的执着是愚蠢的行为。我已经决定了--他以成为过去了。他只不过是区区的一棵树。我又为何为了一棵树而放弃了整片森林呢？