Someone

Lately, met that someone who could actually make my days more enjoyable and happy. Haha. Although he's from another race, but then maybe it does not matter to me anymore. I think what really matters is the heart of someone. If you are in love with someone that his heart doesn't facing to you, it's just not that feeling, it's totally wrong. I had been miserable too, of thinking the racial problem, but somehow, just started by a friend then. One doesn't know what the consequences will be before putting a step forward right? I wish I could see or predict the future, but I could not, just the same like other ordinary people. I wish I could know and meet my Mr. Right now. One of my netfriend told me, somehow, don't find a lover just for the sake of getting in love. Hmm.. I paused a while to figure this out, no doubt it is true. So, let's just wait for the right one. While waiting, don't hesitate to get to know more people, more friends around you, those who are really keen to know more about you. One doesn't knows what will happen next. Destiny says it all.

Back to the Mr. Someone, as I had got to know him by just a few months, from my observations, he's a friend to get to know with. Happy because people around are happy. I don't know whether I'm madly in love or what, but I can just sense that he's true.

24 Feb

24 Feb. Today is another day for me to survive in the crowd of Measurement and Application Exam. We were not told it was actually a mid term examination. I got so freak out of it, when I had the intention to just leave 2 questions unanswered just now. Somehow, I just tell myself to at least scribble something down on the answer sheet, though I had really no exact aim to answer it, how, where and stuff to get the answer there. I'm sick of this subject, I really need a or more tutorial lessons after this. No matter what I will get for this test, I should have to take the result with a calm heart, as I expect I had did badly on the paper. I felt bad for not doing the revising part, especially get to confirm of what I had learnt. I knew the class is like a super express train, or a bullet train, that speeds off so swiftly to the destination,that I had no way of getting what the lecturer told me clearly. The problems or faults are not only at the lecturer's side, I should be sorry for my own case too. Hmm... It's too late to say anything right now, as I could definitely not change the second the before,it's all past tense. Strive harder and get confident with this subject,seek help from others, escpecially the lecturers of this subject.
The other impression of today is happy, joyous mood as today is Summer's birthday. Get a blast, dear! May you have a good time through the days ahead. By the way, I'm still kind of anticipating my birthday to arrive. Omg, it's like nine more months to count...:S

Super Duper Wonderful Day~ XD

9th January 2011. I walked a lot today, my feet are in pain but somehow I enjoyed it very much. It's not totally about the journey, it's actually about what I bought. LOL. I eventually bought a camera, compact camera for myself. I considered it as my birthday present for myself, or a Christmas present from my bf( I'm my own bf..XDD). Nikon L110. I really couldn't believe that I really buy it, maybe I were too intrigued in DSLR, but when I couldn't get satisfied with its price, I eventually got myself to buy its compact camera that looks like a DSLR...LOL...A silly trick of self cheating...XDD. But I were really attracted by its feature of zooming, 15 times of optical zoom and its under RM 900.00. So, I go for it. XD. I found myself hurrying around between shops, just to get it. Because people in shops tended to shake their heads when I asked them whether this model is available. Fortunately, I got it in one of the shop in Low Yat Plaza. Happy day never ended just there. I went to shop for my CNY's clothes by Berjaya Times Square, Pavilion. I had found myself like a kid that loiters around shopping malls, yet to be caught by the authorities in school or even by the police... LOL... Freeze !!! (both hands raised)...XDD..LOL. So, I did buy something other than my camera..XDD, I bought a dress, T-shirt, short pants, a blouse. I really enjoyed today, haha... XDD. It's the feeling of smiling within the heart, the smile that's not disguised, not pretended, just smile, not a fake one. :). Shopping is not the end of the story though, LOL. I did a really great exercise, walking from the Leisure Mall station, back to my home sweet home. You will really know the real meaning of home sweet home when you found yourself are desperate and no one around, to lend a helping hand. I just feel a great relief when I set my foot in front of my home's gate, every pains that I had got by the obstacles that I confronted had come to an end. I'm so blessed I've got back to home, I have got a home for me to get back to. Yesterday, I had Vietnamese cuisine as my dinner, prepared by my siblings, rolling up an edible rice paper with cabbage slice, slices of crabmeat, carrots, prawns, ''lap cheong'' , cucumber, fried eggs, and ''gau chung thap'' herbs. That's all for the ingredients, sorry if I left any, without mentioning.. XD. Just roll them up, and you'll enjoy this special taste of the Viets' XDD, sorry if the word ''Viets'' sounds annoying for Vietnamese. Sorry. XS. So that's all for yesterday. XD

I Don't Care

By my past, I'm so addicted to find someone, quickly get into love. I consider that as my routine, hunt someone anywhere, mostly in ICQ, now I'm still doing it. Even my friends couldn't bear what I'm so indulged in chatting in ICQ. XD. Honestly, I really don't like the feeling of being alone, lonesome, forlorn, that's why I'm in there. And the consequences of being in ICQ, you will easily get insincere friends, that's why it's not hard to find my messenger had a whole lot list of netfriends, but I hardly talk to them since the first time.LOL,but it's a truth. The second threat is that you need to be more judgemental in the virtual chatting world. Anything you gave out to others will cause harm, so keep personal data very carefully just to yourself, never expose it so fast on the first chat. Be more sensible, keep that as my quote! XDD. What I want to tell about my title ''I Don't Care'' is that I really don't bother about my personal love life anymore, what's the big deal about love? It don't bothers me, so do I. I just want to be myself, just wait, not patiently, not feel like waiting, just let it be, let it don't enter my life yet, let the ''love column'' blank and I shall fill it with happy and laughters that I shared with my fellow friends and also my musics, every melodies and lyrics that were kept safely in my mind. My mind was now so compact with everything, if love is so eager to enter my life and my mind, I may need a new hard disc. LOL.. Imagine a girl with an extended mind, connecting to a hard disc, sounds silly and hilarious, and odd too...XDD. I don't care much about people out there judging on how I look, looks good? sexy? awful? super ugly? another betty? sunny girl? plumpy fat dude or wat? I don't care, why should I bother though? I believe that God have give us equally on mentally-equipped people and good-looks group, but there's still some exemptions out there where he/she is intellectually impressive with a pleasant, good look plus a perfect body. What would I say for it? They are just gifted. X). But keep them aside, life isn't just a stage of competition, showing off or flaunting your good figure, good looks so thickly applied of foundation powder, cheek powder, what so much kind of powder and bla bla... Are you the real you? Or you are just the product of XX brand cosmetics? Duhh..I know I'd started complaining on the cosmetics companies, so much out there, promoting year-end sales, promotions, free gifts, free trials, free this, free that. I had heard so much of them. Life is so stressful and I'm like a rubber band being stretched to the maximum, about to split off. Just be ourselves somehow, everyone is special in every way.Live your life to the maximum, love your life, love yourself! XD

These Few Days

These few days, I couldn't access to the Internet. This was what that kept me frustrating, a bit emo and scratching my head wondering what's the idea of poor line connection. ==. I admitted that I missed someone. No more lkc now. Lkc was just like fog..soon evaporated by the warmth of the glowing sun. I think it's not the warmth of the sun anymore, but a glazing hot sun. I don't know whether I'm pushing/ forcing him too much or what. Now everything was like broken pieces of glass dropping from mid air. There are no words left to say, really nothing to say about this debris left on the cold floor. He said we are still friends, this keep me a slight hope, not on our progress of being together, but just to maintain this wounded friendship. Never mind, I told myself. There'll be someone waiting faithfully, who are willing to lend his ears, his patience and attention to me, but the thing that I can do know is just to wait. I had heard so many times of wait, wait, wait, wait , wait, ponder, ponder, wait , wait and WAIT! I had got enough of it, do I really have that chance to get in love, I'm asking God, Is there any hope in me? I'm just afraid that I'll be listening to a 'no'. By the way, not thinking the same matter will make me feel better,I believe, just hope so it would mend wherever it hurts on my body. I missed other guys too, as a friend somehow, whether they are my friends or going-to-be-bf, argh...does it matter by the way? No one really does bother about it, just leave it saying that ''it's complicated''. I missed this Alvin/ Kelvin( I preferred Alvin) Ng Xiang Tze, whom I got to know him by 16th November. Hmm.. I'm planning to steer all these ''tender'' out of my heart house. Leave it blank and absorb as much knowledge as possible. Currently the word L.O.V.E really has not much facts that are yielding to me. For God sake, it's like something that drag you from the current world, and being locked into a dark room where you just see blinking stars until you found yourself are saliva-dripping of a sick dream. I want to get out of this sickenning trap, I tried and tried and I know there'll never be a way out. Our lives are surrounded of love, even our existance is because of love, I were left speechless of the fact. But we must face it, accept it somehow. I can just say I had much experiences of being neglected, being rejected and I don't know the reason why. Maybe I'm not that pretty enough, not that slim enough, not up to the standard in their eyes and mind. What-so-ever. I'm sick of it. Very sick. Craving to get out of it. Like one of my net friend just said, be yourself, be natalie ~ X)

29 Nov

I think life is like a box of chocolate. You will never know what you will get. Life is full of surprises, awaits us to open every box of surprises, like what the quote said, you will never know what you will get. Whatever you get, take it with a calm heart. I found myself like to write or evn type something nowadays. In the past, I used to write diaries, but now the routine was terminated. I think I considered as a sad story. Actually this habit is a good thing to work out daily, by the way, I eventually quit. Music is another thing that I won't leave it behind me, I think. Music influences me a lot, in almost every way. I heard no dance no life, for me, it will be ' No Music, No Life'. Life would be just as dull as the dark sky that rain ensued, without the melody that played in the soft air, life is more boring as it seems to be. I think I got influenced in music by my parents, especially my mum. Lately, I had been wondering to buy a Digital SLR camera. What's on it that keep my mind stick to it is that, the quote of ''capture the moment''. I had been raising up a few new past times. My friend, Alvin suggested me to read some interesting novels online, gave a link for me to view hk dramas online. He told me some knowledge abour DSLR too. I don't know whether I had startedto like him. I'm so uncertain of what I'm thinking. Couldn't get used to losing the old guy and also struggled beneath to let a new guy to inhabitate your heart. I don't know. I think I need some time to forget the old guy, but those memories we had together were still fresh in my mind that I can't stop viewing them, contemplating them in mind. Those videos kept me smiling too, they're just sweet old memories, but when I think back. Does it worth, is it worthwhile to wait for a guy to turn his back from the girl in his heart to come back to me? Is it possible he shall have the same feelings upon me too? I shrugged. All these are like making a judgement of the tomorow, everything had not been assured but blindly putting a conclusion for it. I just should say, it's the carzy little thing called love that kept our heads swirling..turn round and round, even when you feel dizzy, you're still addicted to keep spinning, until you feel like fainting,and you went black off just like that. Love makes someone blind, really, I experienced that before.

Good Day

Today is just a fine good day. I'm so relaxed by the morning walk. What that keep me practicing this daily routine is because I really like the feeling of sweating. Perspiration is always giving me the feeling of relieving, rejuvenating, just fine good feeling that keep me fell in love with plain little thing called morning walk. Everybody is surely having their very own hard times in life, no doubt, we have to face the obstacles no matter how hard, because life goes on. Sometimes when you undergo the smoky haze, and you are finding a way out, usually there's a breakthrough within yourself, mind and soul. When you conquer the haze and manage to get out of it, you are the ultimate winner. I'm relly striving hard to be the winner, everyone do their very best to stand ot of the crowd, hit the headlines, be the best of all. I'm doing my part, others do their part too. Thos great sunday, I spent plenty of time enjoying myself. Morning walk is on my daily basis, then I onlined again, facing the same laptop screen( I bought my laptop by 13th November, Happy One Week's Old! XD). Then, I went for a walk at Cheras Leisure Mall, went to Popular Bookstore, wandering around between the corners of book shelves, flipping those magazines that could attract my eye sight and have a flip on it... I like this way of life, honestly. My mum's still choosing the best ID magazine, while KY's on his way of finding erasers and rulers... LOL... Back home, I did the online thingy once again. Then, I went for a banquet of Kwang Shao Association's 123 Aniversary celebration. I enjoyed the sumptuous meal there, indulged with the singing ambience that I found myself can't control, joining the singing part too. XDD. Okay, that's all for today, a good Sunday~ XD